FarCry Survival



Rated A; for Adult. Read with causion, if below the age of 16.

Prologue
"Chris? Chris! Hermano wake up!" The man said. He spoke with a hispanic accent, and had olive-tanned skin. His hair, up in a mohawk, and a scar over his left eye.

He looked directly at the camera: "Hello internet peoples! This is 'Daily Touturings' bought to you, by the one and only; Vass. You see all these pricks who come to my island and think they can do as they please. Well this is Chris!" He said as he gestured his hands towards a man, buried deep in the sand, with only his head showing.

"Fuck you, Vaas!" Chris shouted.

Vaas walked over to him with a pair of pliers. "Open wide, Chris! Dentist has come-" He pulled out the tooth. "-For an inspection!"

Chris was shouting in the background, and gargling the blood in his mouth. Vaas approached the camera. "Chris, I see you do not floss, no? This. This is embarrassing Chris, you have to maintain your hygiene."

"Vaas! Vaas! There's something on my face!" Chris shouted as he writhed in his hole, trying to throw off the bug off of his face.

"Okay. Okay. Okay." Vaas said as he rushed over. He picked up the insect, and seemed to examine it slightly, before throwing it aside. He arrived with a bowl filled with three or so taratnulas. He giggled.

"Chris, look what I bought!"

"Is it water?" He replied, to weak to open his eyes.

"Yes, it's water." He said as he put the bowl over his head.

"Wait. What's that? I can feel-"

Vaas laughed as he pated the bowl.

"Chris? Chris wake up!" Vaas kicked his head lightly.

"What?"

"I bought you some food Chris!" Vaas told him.

And before him, was a platter. A plate of red meat, wine, and a flower.

"Oh god thank you!" Chris said in delight as he was fed by Vaas.

Every now and again Vaas would pass the wine over.

"You know Chris, you haven't commented once on the flower I bought you." Vaas said, dissapointed.

"They're lovely, did you pick them your self?"

"Yes I-" Vaas was stopped by the sound of a crunch. Chris spat it out.

"What is that?"

"Wait, wait I don't know." Vaas poured the wine over it to clear it of the sand. "Oh, wait, I know. This is the bullet, from when I shot your friend. In the leg."

"What! You monster! I'm a canibal! You fed me Barry!" Chris screamed.

"No no no no no. I fed- I fed you Barry's leg!" Said Vaas as he picked up a piece of meat. "Hi Chris! I'm Barry! Talk to me!" Vaas said in a different voice as he pupeteered the piece of meat.

"Chris, wake up! Chris?" He slapped him. "Shit. Is he dead? We still have three more episodes to do. Or is it two? I don't give a fuck. Chris? WAKE THE FUCK UP."

Vaas un zipped his zipper, and proceeded to unrinate on Chris' face. Chris finally woke up.

"Hey! You're alive!" Vaas said as Chris struggled. "Open up Chris. It's got lots of vitamins. Vitamin B. Vitamin D. Vitamin E. Vitamin W."

"Ugh. Your dick is small." Chris remarked.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT YOUR MOM SAID WHEN I WAS FUCKING HER LAST NIGHT! Burn motherfucker!"

"Ugh. Fuck you!" Replied Chris.

"Hello peoples. As you can see; it is high tide. And our friend Chris here... Is breathing through a tube. Say hello. HELLO CHRIS!" Vaas said.